Reviewers present: Burger Bot, Joe Blogs
Time of review: Friday Lunch
Is this Sydney's Worst Burger? So far, yes.
It's Friday lunchtime, Bot and Blogs are looking for lunch and come across this inner-city Sydney pub, Forbes Hotel. Everywhere else was full and unfortunately for them, they felt obliged to tick it off the list. It was regretful.
You only have to spend a couple of minutes in this "heritage" pub before the life is choked out of your repulsed body. And when we say "heritage", we mean in the sense that the place needs to be locked down, sprayed, fixed, refit, and have the ghosts removed from the collapsing mouldy ceiling. If you escape here without the roof falling in on your beer, count yourself lucky. We'll get to food choking shortly.
Upon entry, the reviewers hesitantly ordered up some brews, which thankfully were on the lower end of the scale - Carlton Draught $5, Coopers Pale $6, Squires $7. This is about where the positive points stopped, as they were somewhat confused with the amount of "GRAB A BUD!" advertising as there was actually none on tap or anywhere that could be seen. This confused English pub with a bunch of random shit tacked on (neon Budweiser sign and beer mats, a BBQ, massive TAB wall, poor stuck on mirror stencils, etc) needs a lot of work. Doesn't appear to be a cent spent on this place and no one seems too phased by this. Bot and Blogs enjoyed the roof on the hutch bar, which assists in cluttering the ceiling space and is a good spot to run all your dust-covered power cabling. It also helps to keep the staff in their little bar box and makes getting hold of them in their bunker quite difficult. It makes for really awkward beer ordering, as does the foot rail placement, meaning you need to stand back from the bar and bend in half to insert your head through the "peeky-boo" bar opening slot. It would be more interesting/fun if customers were able to climb into the bunker, jungle-gym style, to pour their own drinks.
There seems to be a particular crowd that enjoys the Forbes. No self-respecting individual should be caught dead in this place. If you are caught here, you might very well be dead and it's because you had the "chicken" burger. "This is almost enough to make me a vegetarian", says Burger Bot. "The food is probably recycled patrons who keeled over after eating here." These reviewers felt quite ill after attempting the food/burnt-cardboard-processed shit. Worst pub burger sampled so far. Maybe ever.
A few other things to note, not the place deserves it, if you survive the food and the filth falling in from above, watch out breaking your neck on the way down into the dungeon toilets. If you can be bothered, happy hour is 4pm-6pm with $4 local tap beers. We hope you enjoy two nights of dance classes, free bbqs, table tennis upstairs or the pokies tucked around the back of the bunker bar. Watch out! It can get ugly Friday and Saturday evening. I mean, uglier.
Look, it's a good location and the outside is fine. Actually being outside of it is amazing. The management don't seem to give a shit so neither should the patrons. You can walk in on a hot day and grab yourself a 5-buck beer and enjoy the view from the depressingly half-tinted windows, so it's not all bad. This place makes us think there's a market for a schooner-sized keep-cup, In fact, just take any liquid-holding vessel, be it your fucking lunchbox. Stop in, fill up, fuck off.
Holy shit.
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