Kelly's On King, Newtown

285 King Street, Newtown
Reviewers present: Simone, Joe Blogs, Macca
Review time: 'Just one beer I promise, then we'll get dinner' AKA 9.30pm

"Why not? But... Why?"

I was dragged in here against my will, somewhere between watching the football at the Courthouse (review here) and the promise of food at the Coopers (review also on the way). Living nearby, I have often walked past this pub with a vague feeling of superiority, comfortable in the knowledge that I probably will never go in there. There's something about the always-quiet ground floor, the fast-exit side door, and the sign (Irish Pub, really, that never ends well) that made me just assume it's not for me. Then there was the time a bartender at Corridor told us that you go to Kelly's to 'pick up slappers' (he meant it lovingly, as that's where he met his girlfriend. True story). Honestly, not my kind of place.

On walking in, there are heaps of tables and stools of varying heights, and the pub seems to be proud of its collections. A collection of pipes is framed on one wall, I inspected a collection of taps on another. There is a machine promising the 'World's Best Hot Nuts' and the menu on the tables promises a cheap feed of Bacon and Eggs whenever you like, as well as some other all-day breakfast and standard pub items.

Beer, as Joe found, is cheap: standard beers $4.60, Coopers Dark $4.80, fancy pants Magners, Bulmers, Grolsch $5.90.  The prices do go up later in the night though. No jugs.

Cheap beers!

We decided to abandon the near-empty ground floor pub, and head upstairs. There is SO MUCH STUFF in there - TVs, pool table, pinball machines, jukebox, water coolers, plants, tables, stools, more TVs... every corner has something in it, and with people trickling steadily in at 9.40 on a Saturday night, it was only a matter of time before someone tripped over something (possibly the kiddy table and stools that we were sitting at, I think they were sized for 8 year olds). That said, there is heaps of space upstairs, including an outdoor area/beer garden, and the clientele wasn't too obnoxious.

The verdict, after this covert visit? Well I'm not going to hurry back. If I only had $5 and really wanted a beer, I would probably stick to the ground floor and have a gander at some of the weird stuff on display. But upstairs looks a bit like your typical weekend pick-up joint, and not really my cup of tea.

1.5 stars/chickens/schooners/however we are rating things now on Sydney Pub List.  The official score on the night was 2, but I deducted half a point due to the bar staff not knowing the prices of any of the beers.


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